Risky mindfulness business

Lojong slogan 36 is "Don't act with a twist." This slogan refers to misusing the practices that are intended to transform your mind. In today's world, there is quite some discussion about this point. Is meditation practice only used to feel less stressed, or even worse, to feel you are a good human being because you are meditating. Sometimes meditation is used to signal virtue, especially on social media. But, to put it in the words of John Dunne, the real signal of the meditation practices working is not how much you practise or what special experiences you have, but rather, whether you are less of a jerk.

I think that it is very easy when you are meditating, to think that that is the solution to everything, and that you are better than everyone else because you practise. Of course that runs completely counter to the idea of the meditation practice, which is to cultivate an open mind and humility. The challenge is to stay curious and open, and able to be with whatever arises. I think there are plenty opportunities for this in this time of COVID (not to mention the upcoming US elections!), during which there are so many strong opinions that often cause rifts in relationships. Is it possible to step away from your feeling that you know better and instead practise true curiosity into the thoughts and feelings of others, without being swept away by those. I find that when I manage to do that, there is often a lot more commonality with the other person, and often they then can become more open to solid arguments (and maybe you yourself change your views as well).

In addition, it is also very easy to get caught up in the idea that rather than being on your cushion, you should just help people. There is merit in sitting on your cushion and observing your mind, or practising these patterns of loving kindness and compassion, because otherwise your mind may be too disturbed when you meet difficult people or difficult emotions. I find one important case where this is very obvious that meditation (which I practise way too little) helps me to inhibit my immediate impulse to always do something and constantly look for new input. Instead it allows me to practise staying with what is, and repeatedly contemplating different courses of action. I often find that in the space afforded by the practice, new ideas or courses of action appear spontaneously. This not only makes me feel less stressed but also these responses may be a bit more thought-through and adaptive.

Finally, what are we to do to prevent ourselves from going off in meditation? Probably the most important to do is to not take yourself too seriously. So I am curious: how are you trying to make sure your mindfulness or meditation practice succeeds in making you less of a jerk, instead of going off the rails in self-absorption?