The next slogan in the #lojongchallenge is "turn all suffering into the path of awakening." While usually we want suffering to go away, and feel like it distracts us from the spiritual path, or whatever other goals we seek to accomplish, this slogan encourages us to instead use the suffering as fuel to progress on the spiritual path. How would that be possible? In contemplating this slogan, I realized that my particular and most pervasive suffering is the todo-list that keeps on growing, and makes me feel really stressed (you can tell I am pretty spoilt). I suspect I am not alone in this, since stress and feeling overworked are rampant in our modern society. But how can we work with the ever-growing todo list?
I felt that just realizing that the ever-growing todo-list was making me feel stressed was already quite an accomplishment. Such a realization is the moment of awareness. Suddenly the stress is not the thing that defines me, but instead is linked to something outside me--I am not the stress. In fact, I can kindly look at the stress and become friends with it. Instead of hating my endless todo list, I can also ask what it can teach me. What does an endless todo-list say about your priorities? Maybe my ego thinks I am so important that I need to do all those things? Do I really need to do them? And even if there is such a long todo list, I can also just get started, dedicate all my efforts to the benefit of beings, and not worry so much about all the other stuff that still needs to be done. In some of his teachings, Tsoknyi Rinpoche explains very well how sometimes we let ourselves become really stressed because when we are doing one thing, our mind is already onto the next thing and starts worrying about that. in fact, the moment we do nothing, our mind is so restless that it wants to do something--anything. This is one moment when we may create more stuff to do.
What I found very helpful is just to sit for a moment with my todo list. Not to let myself get distracted by it, but just simply to feel my feelings. Suddenly the todo list was not so daunting--really my stories and catastrophizing were what made it so bad. So whenever I feel this stress about the growing todo list creep in, I try to kindly observe it, and let it dissolve on its own accord. It definitely has helped me be a little bit more calm and happy.
Another important observation is that sometimes I use my todo-list as an excuse for not being able to do my meditation practice. But in fact, the todo list (or any other problem or stress) is exactly when you should practise says Khandro Rinpoche. Practice is not about feeling good; it is about confronting the neurotic aspects of ourselves that make us aggrandize things, go after the things we want and run away from the things we don't want, and ignoring everyone else. So when we feel like a martyr who has to work so hard when looking at our todo list, when we want to run away from it and be in some different place, this is our chance to work with that. Of course that doesn't mean we have to always accept such a todo list and not change the outer circumstances as well. But given that we are now in this situation, why not relate to it in a more sane way?
I felt that just realizing that the ever-growing todo-list was making me feel stressed was already quite an accomplishment. Such a realization is the moment of awareness. Suddenly the stress is not the thing that defines me, but instead is linked to something outside me--I am not the stress. In fact, I can kindly look at the stress and become friends with it. Instead of hating my endless todo list, I can also ask what it can teach me. What does an endless todo-list say about your priorities? Maybe my ego thinks I am so important that I need to do all those things? Do I really need to do them? And even if there is such a long todo list, I can also just get started, dedicate all my efforts to the benefit of beings, and not worry so much about all the other stuff that still needs to be done. In some of his teachings, Tsoknyi Rinpoche explains very well how sometimes we let ourselves become really stressed because when we are doing one thing, our mind is already onto the next thing and starts worrying about that. in fact, the moment we do nothing, our mind is so restless that it wants to do something--anything. This is one moment when we may create more stuff to do.
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| Random picture taken by my brother Floris van Vugt |
What I found very helpful is just to sit for a moment with my todo list. Not to let myself get distracted by it, but just simply to feel my feelings. Suddenly the todo list was not so daunting--really my stories and catastrophizing were what made it so bad. So whenever I feel this stress about the growing todo list creep in, I try to kindly observe it, and let it dissolve on its own accord. It definitely has helped me be a little bit more calm and happy.
Another important observation is that sometimes I use my todo-list as an excuse for not being able to do my meditation practice. But in fact, the todo list (or any other problem or stress) is exactly when you should practise says Khandro Rinpoche. Practice is not about feeling good; it is about confronting the neurotic aspects of ourselves that make us aggrandize things, go after the things we want and run away from the things we don't want, and ignoring everyone else. So when we feel like a martyr who has to work so hard when looking at our todo list, when we want to run away from it and be in some different place, this is our chance to work with that. Of course that doesn't mean we have to always accept such a todo list and not change the outer circumstances as well. But given that we are now in this situation, why not relate to it in a more sane way?
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