Finishing the Lojong series with applause--or maybe not?

 I think we humans are hard-wired to look for other people's approval, maybe especially those of us on social media. This is where the last slogan of Lojong, number 59, is interesting: it encourages us to "do not expect applause". 

Waiting for applause at the end of this variation at
Morlaix ballet camp 
Picture by Michel Le

The reason that social media is so addictive is that by posting something we can accumulate other people's approval in the form of likes and probably dopamine in a way that is much faster and easier than other ways of accumulating people's approval that require actions in the real world. 

There is obviously nothing wrong with seeking approval--it is actually quite adaptive and when it does not work, it is associated with mental disorders such as depression (where the reward and reward learning system are blunted) and addiction (where rewards other than the drug of addiction are blunted). Yet, if we rely only on other's approval for our happiness then we are in shady territory because we cannot control it. This is why I very much appreciate the Buddhist idea of focusing more on motivation than on outcome (including the outcome of approval): you can control your motivation but the outcome is mostly outside your control.  I think that's also what slogan 59 encourages us to do.

Maybe sitting meditation itself is an example of a practice not focused on doing, waiting for rewards, but rather on being. We are encouraged to actively notice how a certain way of being makes us feel, so slowly the being rather than doing becomes more rewarding. Once you have spent more time paying attention to your own internal landscape, it therefore also becomes easier to motivate yourself based on your intention and the process itself than the outcome. Nevertheless, it does require quite a lot of self-confidence to ignore other people's applause, but if you keep practising, bit by bit, your confidence grows, together with your stable happiness that comes from inside. A beautiful place to end this series! Maybe next time you are hoping for applause, you can ask yourself: "do I really need it?"